Assimilation

I don't know how I got here. The last thing I remembered was the fever. At first I thought I was dreaming, but it became too real to be just a dream. I woke up upon a thick four-leafed plant in the midst of what I thought was a rugged desert in the aftermath of a sandstorm: I could not see the sky, only a dusty haze like a smoggy sunset. I felt so stiff as I stood up that I could hardly walk, and stooped like an old man.

It felt warm, suspiciously warm. And then I smelled the vents of sulfur before I saw them. It was strangely pleasant as long as I thought it was a dream, thinking that it was just an interesting phantasmagoria that I might as well explore as it passed before me — a nice distraction from the fever, though at the same time it felt like a representation of it.

But as I wandered around I grew tired, thirsty, hungry, things that wouldn't happen while I was lying in bed receiving care. But I still believed it was a dream, and didn't think much of it when, I tried to drink from a bubbling pool of mud. After all, I don't know how mud tastes like, so in a dream it would be the same as water.

I choked and gagged, and as I did, something in the mud stirred at the noise. It grabbed my leg with long hooked claws and dragged me into the water, and before I had time to scream it reached a tentacle through my mouth and into my stomach. It widened momentarily, making my esophagus feel as if it would tear, and then as suddenly it withdrew its tentacle and sinked into the mud again, waiting for its next victim.

I thought it would consume me, but I wasn't sure what it had done to me instead. Then I felt something stir in my stomach and realized that it was going to do just that — but from inside me. I curled up into a ball and prayed for the dream to be over, beginning to fear that something was very wrong with me, and that I would stay here forever. Perhaps I did end up in a coma.

Then the elders came — somehow I knew that that's what they were called. They were spindly, elfin humanoids, speaking reassuring words to me until they suddenly put a chained collar around my neck. Speaking amongst themselves they called me their harvest. They would not speak me to me at first, but at at my insistence ("this really is an annoying one isn't it?") they finally answered my questions.

They tell me that I had just hatched from the egg that I thought was a plant, and that they use me for my ability to pick up the memories from the dying, something they say we used to find cadavers to feed. I have a feeling I'm the first to pick up the memories of an animal from another planet, but I keep this to myself.

Instead, I lie that I have the memories of one of their own. "If my memories are those of a dead person, then why don't you treat me as a reincarnation of them?"

They turn around and give me a dark look. "We know, assims do this sometimes. Otherwise you wouldn't speak our language." I wonder at this. Could I have picked up the memories of one of theirs as well, perhaps repressed beneath those of the human? "You're not the same as them," another elder says. "They've had their time. Just look at you, how would you be one of us? You're an impostor."

I look down at myself and realize just now how different I am, with the skin of a reptile but the limbs of an amphibian. In fact, now I realize the reason I've felt so stiff was because my body isn't made for walking on two feet. I fall on all fours and feel much better.

The elders laugh, all except the one that was just speaking. "You're lucky we need you for the war, or else I'd just kill you now."

"Relax, Erciss, we need it. At least we can always just use its brain."

I don't like to think that this is really happening. I keep mulling over what happened, trying to find proof that this really is a dream. Whether it's a dream or it isn't, it doesn't seem to make sense at all. If it's a dream, why is it so consistent? And if it's real, then how did I pick up the memories of a human? Then it hits me.

"What war?"

"The war on the humans." He pronounced it wrong, but it was recognizable enough. That meant, at least, that there had been some time of cultural interchange before the war. Perhaps there is hope.

They take me to a compound beside a large dome-shaped building in the midst of the desert. I'm alone there, which means that whatever they do to assims they do fast. I keep waiting for an elder to look up, trying to find clues what they will do to me. And then, when an elder in a black coat comes up to me, I remember him as a friend from the other life I assimilated, that of Fori. I remember the human, Carlos, because she was studying him through assims, hoping to work towards peace by assimilating him into herself. She somehow died while trying to use an assim brain to connect their minds, even though it had been tested on animals before. All of a sudden I remember as Fori takes over within me.

"Gorlek! It's me!" I say. Gorlek looks at me with repulsion. I hadn't realized my voice had remained the same until now, when it becomes that of a female elder. It seems like my vocal chords can mimic voices.

It hurts me that Gorlek won't recognize me, but what I need to say is too important for me to let that get to me right now. "Well, I have her memories anyway," I say. "I know how I, how Fori died."

"Do you?"

"The last thing I remember was a sharp pain in the back. I was stabbed."

"You're trying to trick me with your mindgames. That's what you monsters do."

"Where's the body?"

Gorlek gives me a long look, then moves away.