Nihilitarianism

Perhaps anyone else thinks it's cosy to keep interaction at a low intensity, but I don't: I want chaos, disruption, anarchy! Just kidding. People are weirded out when I speak openly but to me nothing I express seems that weird, it's just thoughts, and I feel weirded out that they don't reciprocate, so that I must remain in the center of attention. And perhaps that's why they don't express themselves too, out of humility? But it's not even the content of what I'm saying that's all that weird, it's just the pattern in which my thoughts spread all over the place, without regard for boundaries.