Quora: I'm an average looking guy. Everybody says that I'm the kindest person they've met, but I can't find love. I always get friendzoned. Am I looking too much?
Dating is a numbers game. It's not easy for any of us to find someone and most people either give up or settle for the wrong person. Please ignore anyone suggesting that perhaps you're not interesting enough or that niceness is overrated: you don't need to be superior to find a match because women are people just like you, looking for their match just like you. It's actually rather sexist to say that men need to be superior to find a match. In fact the more average you are the more matches you'll have, and the more exceptional you are the less interest both you and women will have in each other. Always remember that the issue is not just that they don't feel anything for you but that you don't really feel anything for them specifically: right now you just feel a desire to have someone to love even if you haven't found them yet, and it's easy to tell yourself that you've found them to feel better. If you develop real love for someone, it will always be reciprocal — and love that isn't real is just a waste of time, distracting you from your search, so always be yourself so you can move on quickly. It's hard to say what attracts people to each other but quite often happy couples are each other's opposite in just the right ways. It makes sense, because that makes for the best genes in offspring.
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