The Illusion of Judgment

There was one thing I didn't accept from other people, and I never realised how I have no good reason for letting it hold me back: what it was, as I would word it, was other people's inacceptance — but that doesn't make sense, because I am the only one who can decide whether or not I accept my own consciousness, and no one else can do that in my place. Calling it inacceptance was just a way for me to rationalise it without realising that I was unaccepting myself. What it really was that I didn't accept was people's judgment — it's actually what leads to most schisms between people, but it's an illusion just like any other projection of the ego. When someone very important to me judged me, it made me realise how little others' judgment actually still affected me, and I realised that it doesn't matter how people judge me because I don't depend on anyone's permission to be myself — and how much simpler life is if I don't have to worry about that! It only begs the question what judgment is: whatever's in our consciousness is just energy: it can be transferred and is therefore fluid, undefinable. And inacceptance isn't really a thing: it's the absence of acceptance, it's a poverty of connectivity in our psyche — and as such it's something we can't grasp. So what am I supposed to look out for, to be wary of, to be on my guard for? Nothing. I can despise people for their lack of understanding, but it's not something that I can avoid or suppress, nor is it a dealbreaker. So judge me however you want, but it will not change the fact that I will always do what I want.