Nihilitarianism

In Dabrowski's theory of positive disintegration, there are two kinds of people who are always themselves and always do what they want: those on the lowest level, that of narcissism, and those on the highest level, that of authenticity. People on the lowest level don't repress themselves because they don't care about anyone else; people on the highest level don't repress themselves because their every action is driven from their own values of what's best for everyone. I have never met anyone else on the highest level, but I've confused a lot of people on the lowest level as being on the highest (Sv, L, Y, I'm looking at you) because I moved out of the lowest level at 13 and can't remember what it was like. The level of positive disintegration is by no means the only measure of someone's worth, and I've valued a lot of people on the lowest level more than those on the middle because they're more themselves. But I can't connect with anyone who's not on my level, and it's impossible to sustain the inspiration to act by my own values by myself. My best friend, Sb, was on the third level, always in the process of questioning the meaning of everything, and while I was on that level, we could connect, but when I moved on to form my own values, what once connected us was gone.